Chimp With A Gun
Outrageous! Members of Greenpeace are facing criminal charges in Miami just because they have broken the law. If this sort of scandalous trend in law enforcement continues, no criminal will be safe. Some activists are upset that the federal government filed charges against Greenpeace members for attempting "to board a freighter headed for Miami in order to unfurl a banner calling for an end to illegal logging." Apparently, objecting to politically-correct crimes is now tantamount to waging a political vendetta.

Of course its not only the US government which has taken action against Greenpeace and their "peaceful" protests. A court in the United Kingdom recently convicted Greenpeace members for taking part in such peaceful activities as "criminal damage" and "aggravated trespass." Meanwhile, Greenpeace activists have taken over an outdoor research facility in Switzerland where the Federal Institute of Technology is conducting a field trial of genetically modified wheat.

Ultimately, Greenpeace's publicity stunts are just that. The group's illegal actions are as beneficial to the environment as a chimp with a gun would be at protecting public safety. Winston wonders how Greenpeace would react if activists broke into their offices, disrupted their business and unfurled a banner denouncing the organization's inane mischief. Winston is sure that, in the spirit of peaceful activism, Greenpeace would applaud such actions.